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  • Writer's pictureAmy Newton

A cocooned and comfortable home

Helen Calvert is a life coach to business owners, and the founder of business support agency Clear Day. She works with (mainly female) business owners to help them to access calm, find clarity, build their confidence, increase their focus and make real progress in their businesses and their lives. In this blog post Helen talks about how our home environment can contribute to our feelings of safety and ultimately, our ability to achieve.

My bed is my safe space. If I’m having a bad day, if it all gets a bit overwhelming, I always feel safe in my bed. I have been known to sit in bed with my laptop and work there if the day is feeling particularly tough! The benefits of being self-employed…

We all need to feel safe, and too much stress can make us feel as though we are under threat. The shallow breathing, the tense muscles, the clenched jaw…those responses to stress are our body’s way of getting us ready to fight or run, as though there is a predator about to strike. An important part of managing stress is finding ways to make ourselves feel safe again, ways to indicate to our bodies that there is no predator, we are not actually under threat. This is why “take a deep breath” is such a cliché – it is the quickest way to send a message to our bodies that, in truth, we are safe.

Our homes should be the place where we feel the safest, where we feel cocooned and comfortable and relaxed. We all have different needs when it comes to creating a safe environment, but whatever your needs are, you deserve to have a home that accommodates and meets them. Some things to think about when designing your safe home environment:

  • Colours. Which colours make you feel safe and calm? In which rooms would feeling safe and calm be the most beneficial? Some rooms we want to be uplifting, welcoming, sensual…but your home needs at least one room that feels safe, calm and soothing. Which colours would do that for you?

  • Textures. What kind of feel do you enjoy? Which textures feel the most comforting? If you like a snuggle you can use blankets in any room where you are likely to curl up. Does your bed have the most comforting and comfortable feel? Think about ways that you can use texture to soothe your senses.

  • Scent. Are there smells that you find particularly calming? Or you might find some smells particularly upsetting, in which case if those are likely to happen in the home what can you do to offset those scents, particularly in the kitchen and the bathroom? Scent can take us instantly to past emotions so it is worth considering which scents take you to happy, safe and soothing places in your mind.

  • Sound. Are you someone who needs a quiet place to where you can retreat? Or do you feel safest with some noise around? Is your home set up to accommodate those needs, either with soundproofing, sound dampening or with a sound system that allows music or listening wherever you are?

Feeding our senses can make an enormous difference to our feelings of safety. No matter the cause of our stress, feeling calmer and more comfortable will make the stress easier to process and the cause of the stress easier to handle.

A comforting and safe home environment is not only about stress relief though – it can also help us to be more productive and to achieve our goals. The less energy we have to spend on feeling uncomfortable, out of sorts, frustrated by mess or just not quite at home, the more energy we will have to focus on the things we want to do. When we feel safe, tasks that are a little out of our comfort zone feel more manageable, so we can reach further in terms of our goals and achievements. A safe home is a launch pad from which we can aim for the stars.

If you would like to work with me on other ways of increasing your emotional safety and the links between safety and success, you can contact me here

Helen Calvert

Coach and Director of Clear Day

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